On the 16th of December 2007 the Criminal Law (Sexual Offences) Amendment  Act came into effect.  Due to the redefinition of rape, (The act specifies that Rape occurs when one individual intentionally commits an act of sexual penetration into the vagina, anus or mouth of  another individual without their consent) both woman and men can use the law with regards rape.

When we refer to rape we mean any act of a sexual nature which has been forced onto another person. Rape is a violent, traumatic and life changing experience that can happen to anyone. It can happen in many situations.

Rape is an act of power and control: sex is the medium to achieve it. Rape only begins with the physical act, during which every part of the individual is concentrated on surviving. After the assault, the struggle to comprehend and understand what has happened begins. Its meaning floods over the survivor who has to find a way to return to their bodies, their lives and regain a sense of self.

Anybody can be raped, by their boyfriend, husband, a family member, a friend, someone they know, a stranger, or by a gang of men.

There are many myths about rape, and many of us have some false beliefs about it.
Click here to educate yourself about some of these myths and false beliefs.

Some of the effects of rape include:

• PHYSICAL: Shock, physical injury, nausea, tension headaches, disturbed sleeping patterns and disturbed eating patterns.
• BEHAVIOUR: Crying more than usual, difficulty concentrating, restlessness, listlessness, withdrawing from people and relationships, not wanting to be alone, being easily frightened and jumpy, being easily upset, irritability, fear of sex, loss of sexual pleasure, changes in lifestyle, increased substance abuse and behaving as if the rape did not occur.
• PSYCHOLOGICAL: Anxiety and fear, guilt, helplessness, humiliation and embarrassment, shame, lower self esteem, anger, feeling alone and that no one understands, losing hope in the future, numbness, confusion, loss of memory, having flashbacks to the rape, nightmares, depression and becoming suicidal.

All these reactions are normal responses to the experience of rape. When someone who has been raped displays these reactions it does not mean that they are going “crazy”. Not all people who have been raped will respond in the same ways. If someone who has been raped does not show any of these reactions it does not mean that they have not been raped. There is no right or wrong reaction to rape.

It is as if it happened yesterday. The pains, the horror of feeling some man enter you, without your permission. The shame of the fact that you were no longer a ‘good girl,’ You feel you are now second hand goods. Your dreams of a white wedding, giving your husband the most precious gift a woman could give her husband, were destroyed.

Over and above, your families accusatory glances at you for what happened to you. Subsequently being treated like a leper by everyone you believed loved you. You become the living reminder to your family, of the shame they endured, because you were raped.

The images of that night, replays itself over and over in your mind. You search for a reason for what they did, why they chose to hurt you that way. Had you done something to deserve what had happened?

You scrub your skin in the shower, but however hard you scrub, you still feel filthy. You ache all over, but the pain in your heart is the worst, you wish you could die.
You are so alone, there is nobody you can talk to, nobody to comfort you and nobody who seems to understand what you are experiencing.
You are compelled to carry on, face each day the best way you can and to this day, you find it difficult to look at yourself in a mirror.

Did you deserve the utter violation of your body and soul…..NO