Abuse occurs when people mistreat or misuse other people, showing no concern for their integrity or innate worth as individuals, and in a manner that degrades their well being.

Abusers frequently are interested in controlling their victims. They use abusive behaviors to manipulate their victims into submission or compliance with their will.

Abusers control and compel their victims in a variety of ways. They may verbally abuse them by calling them names, tell them they are stupid, have no worth or will not amount to anything on their own.

They may become physically violent, inflicting pain, bruises, broken bones and other physical wounds (visible and hidden both).

They may rape or sexually assault their victims. Alternatively they may neglect dependent victims, disavowing any responsibilities they may have towards those victims, and causing damage through lack of action rather than through a harmful, manipulative action itself.

Abuse is a commonplace event in modern times, taking on many different forms, including physical, sexual, emotional, and verbal abuse, occurring in many different contexts, including the home (domestic violence, spousal rape, incest), the workplace (sexual harassment), in institutional (elder abuse, bullying), religious, and community (hate crime) settings.

It affects victims of all ages from children through to the elderly. Abuse is a serious social and cultural problem affecting everyone whether as a victim of abuse, a perpetrator, a friend or confidant of an abused person looking for ways to be helpful, or simply as someone who is angered by injustice and wants to work for positive change.

The tension builds up as the day draws to a close, he’ll be home soon.
I have the meal ready, the home is spotless, but in my heart I know, he will find something to get angry about.

I am still aching from the beating I received this morning, so a part of me wants to lash out at him, while the other part cautions me. As usual, he walks through the door, smelling of alcohol and your heart sinks, because you know what to expect.
You do what ever it takes to keep the peace, but within the hour, his aggression comes to the fore.

An argument starts up and your first instinct is to get the children out of the way. You send them to the room, knowing it means being on your own with him. He approaches you in the way you know so well, he is looking for a reason to argue, so he can walk out. You plead with him to leave, not to upset the home, go out and do whatever he chooses, but he continues.

He rants and raves for what seems like hours, eventually you respond in a tone he feels is wrong and slaps you across your face.
From that point the beating only becomes worse and all you pray for, is that it ends.

Eventually you hear his car drive off and you get up from the floor, get into a warm bath, the only thing that soothes your bruises.
Today it’s a physical beating, tomorrow it will be ridicule, criticism, insults and manipulation.

He forces you to have sex with him and you’re afraid to say no, you know if you did, you’ll be subjected to yet another beating.
The ‘peaceful periods’ although he appears to be calmer, are still extremely stressful for you.

You are continuously walking on egg shells, your personality seems to be changing, your ability do your work is negatively affected, your entire life is affected and you are afraid to speak to anyone.
How long will this awful cycle continue……..who can you turn to?